The ONE Thing 1.0

Remember the character Curly in the movie City Slickers? He was always talking about knowing what ‘the one thing’ was – the most important thing in life.  Mitch, Billy Crystal’s character in the film, was frustrated and confused by what Curly meant. He just wanted Curly to tell him what the one thing was. But in the end, Mitch realizes that the one thing is different for everyone – it’s whatever is most important to you.  Your job is to do the work to figure out what ‘the one thing’ is for you.

While there’s definitely truth to Curly’s perspective and Mitch’s discovery, I’m here to tell you that when it comes to living a long and happy life, ‘the one thing’ is really even simpler than that.  And it’s pretty much the same for everybody.  The one thing – the most important thing in life – is RELATIONSHIPS.

Many studies have been conducted over the years and much has been written about personal relationships and their influence on aging.  The bottom line?  Researchers consistently report that the influence of social relationships on mortality is equally as important as not smoking and limiting alcohol consumption, and it’s likely more important than factors like obesity, blood pressure, inactivity, etc.

Wow. Take a moment to really think about that.  Relationships are as important as not smoking!  We’ve all been told for decades how bad tobacco use is for our health.  Turns out that not having meaningful, close relationships in our lives is equally as damaging!

So how do you go about adding friends and strengthening the human connections in your life?  Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Be intentional, take the time, and put in the effort to create relationships.  Look for and pursue opportunities to meet new people.
• Reach out to friends and family so you know what they’re doing and how you can be involved and support them.
• Focus on your family. Family relationships are likely the closest and most important connections you have. Attend family gatherings and spend time with your grandkids if you have them!
• Reconnect with former coworkers.
• Cultivate relationships with people at your place of worship.
• Participate in volunteer groups.
• Organize a neighborhood get together.
• Practice being a good friend.
• Show you care – extend a helping hand when you see it’s needed.  And don’t hesitate to ask for help when you are in need!

While this approach may sound contrived or forced, it isn’t. Yes, there are important benefits for you, but this is a two-way street. Bring your true self to the relationship, give of yourself openly and honestly, and trust that your interest and caring will be returned.  (Of course, always use good judgement and stay safe in this process.  Trust your intuition and if something doesn’t seem right, move on.)  

In the end, creating connections with others will benefit you and them.  Everyone wins!